Can Holy Spirit find me a Parking Spot?

I have heard this question asked many times during my life. Can Holy spirit find me a parking spot? And the answer is always no. Holy spirit can't find me a parking spot, but I can if I am lined up with the Truth.

So what's the difference, what does it mean to be lined up? My experience has been, when I am in a state of love and joy, only loving and joyful things come to me. When I am otherwise, my days are not joyful, they match my mind perfectly.

Yesterday was one of those lined up days. I have been in a state of joy for two weeks and everything has appeared when I wanted it. What would have been emotional upheavals in the past, have been simple challenges with awesome outcomes. I have had a two week opportunity to observe what it is like to be at one with the Holy Spirit and it is wonderful. I smile at people and they smile back. Not just one of them, all of them. I feel so much love for everybody that it reflects back onto me and I light up, no Christmas lights needed for me this year. Lol

It's very empowering to know that my mind makes my world. I am no longer affected by the world that seems to be around me, unless I want to of course. I feel as if God is oozing out of me, and I am invincible. All I have to do is ask where is my mind today? Try it, it works.

Change is Evolution!

Last night my daughter commented on something I was sharing with my granddaughter as if it were the truth, something my daughter didn't think was appropriate for her age, she is seven years old. I asked myself, what is appropriate to share with a seven year old? My granddaughter listens intently to what I say and is full of questions. Children are wiser than we think, they can teach us lots if we take the time to listen to them. It was obvious my daughter had her own story about what I had shared, which was a fabricated version, not unlike my own ability to fabricate stories,in order to unconsciously keep myself locked in a fearful world. Her reaction was another gift for me to check in on my own stories,and also to ponder what change of mind means. She also made a good point, that what I believe today is different than what I believed last year or last month, and I had to agree with her.

So I checked in with Holy spirit and asked what is truth? Truth cannot be what I believe today,when I know a day from now I could be believing something different about the same subject. I often say, this is my truth, my,meaning the me that acts out in this dream world. The real truth has nothing to do with this world, yet I need this dream world right now in order to have these experiences with the soul intent of waking up to THE REAL TRUTH that I am already back with God.

My seven year old granddaughter was watching, what was for her a scary show on T.V. She was so scared that she couldn't go to sleep that night. We had a talk about her fear. She was afraid the character in the movie would come and take her parents away and kill them. I asked if that had happened and she said no,but she was afraid it would happen. I suggested she doesnt watch the show again if she is afraid of it. She said she's not afraid of the show, she wants to watch it again. I helped her to see that her fear wasn't about the show, it was about her own thoughts that were not even true. What she feared had never happened and never would. I suggested she change her story about her parents being killed and replace it with a happy story that included the character she was afraid of. Yesterday she arrived home from school with a book called Rumplestiskin. It was the character she was afraid of. She had pulled it out of the school library as her take home book because she was no longer afraid of him.

I do not see my truth as THE TRUTH. My truth in any given moment is the only thing I can use in order to experience my own evolution towards The Truth. The Truth to me, is the absolute knowingness that none of this is real. But as long as I think I am here I will always have what I call my truth, especially when I almost always make a point of asking the Holy Spirit to guide me.

My daughter represents to me my own fears,when I think I may not be doing it right. I bless her for she is a grand teacher for me,as is everyone else. After all, I placed them all in my dream for a reason and it is working. My life is the best it has ever been, more joy, more love and most of all, more peace.

So change is evolution for me, and as my daughter pointed out, yes, my truth is my truth, not anyone else's. Thanks to her I am reminded to say, this is my truth, not THE TRUTH.

Passiveness versus Knowingness

Last night I watched a documentary about the life of John Lennon and Yoko Ono. One line caught my attention. It was, If you are being attacked then defend yourself. The documentary was mostly about their stance on peace, yet this was said by John, and in my mind peace and defense somehow do not go together.

This morning I woke up in deep contemplation, asking my Holy Spirit the following questions.

Did Christ really turn the other cheek as said in the bible?

Is it true that attack and defense are an illusion as said in A Course In Miracles?

Where does passiveness fit in, other than in my interpretation as a mask for fear?

Is there a moment, when I must let go of the questions, and take a leap of faith into what I believe is true for me right now, knowing that what I believe right now can change and probably will change as I evolve.

Is what I believe right now,the next obvious and therefore next step on my journey?

Why is passiveness my greatest fear?

What do I believe right now. What rings as truth in my soul?

It is the first thing I wrote down. That Christ turned the other cheek. I can see that would have taken great courage and total surrender to something greater than the attachment to the body and the illusionary world of matter. To not be afraid to stand in my truth,out of the fear that something may happen to my body or my present life circumstances.Wow! So true.

So I can see, I use the fear of my idea of passiveness, as an excuse not to follow my truth, because I am afraid of surrender. Meaning I am afraid to hand what seems to be an attacking situation over to my Holy Spirit in case I get hurt physically or emotionally.

So my answer is, to stand up boldly in my truth. Not with attack thoughts, not with the need to defend myself, but in a state of love for all mankind, and a knowingness that we are all doing the best we can in any given moment.Plus, if I hand any situation over to the holy spirit, it will always work out best for all concerned.

Right Timing!

About a week ago, my friend sent me a link to YouTube. It was called Bring me Sunshine by the jive aces. I have watched it every day since and it never fails to put a smile on my face. Today I shared it with a young girl in a coffee shop who was sad due to a rough breakup with her boyfriend. I think the smile on her face was as real as mine when it finished.

These gifts that I call right timing, are no coincidence. I see them strategically placed there by the holy spirit gifting us with joy at a time when we may be feeling sad. Check out the link, I think you will agree with me.

These gifts of right timing exist everywhere. I had one this morning. I left home with my wonderful partner to go for a car ride into the country. It was an impromptu decision to go. One of many as we try always to live in the moment and be spontaneous. It was a beautiful sunny day for November and perfect for a drive. We packed a lunch to eat on the road and after an unexpected phone call from our friends in Mexico we left.

It was no longer sunny. The sky was grey but it didn't stop us from leaving. I was feeling wonderful while at the same time observing that it was unusual for me not to be complaining of the change in weather. I asked my partner to play the YouTube link on our ipad that I mentioned in order to see if it brought me more joy as it originally did. I was surprised to see that my state of joy didn't increase, it didn't have to. I was the sun and had been since my experience the first night of writing this blog. How wonderful to have been in complete joy for a week and not need anything in the illusion to put a smile on my face .

Everything in my life is right timing, always has been and always will.

I Need Do Nothing!

I had to ponder this statement, I Need Do Nothing for a while before I really understood it. I need do nothing to awaken from this dream because I am already back with God.

What did that news do to my life and my way of thinking until now? I have done so much over the past forty years in an effort, and I say effort, to awaken to something other than what I thought I was. Hard work, many workshops, lots of tears and lots of time spent in an effort to heal and change my existance here.

Now I am not regretting all of this work. It was absolutely the only thing I could do. I didn't know anything else at the time. Even to this day right now I still find myself in the mode of trying. So to accept I need do nothing was seemingly an insult on the way I had lived my life and one that needed contemplation.

This morning a friend emailed me about a link I had sent him to watch a movie documentary called Thrive. His perception of the movie was the opposite to mine and he felt he had to save me from my way of thinking.I reacted to his idea of saving me then quickly reverted back to myself, knowing he isn't really here, and asking me, what is he reflecting back to me right now. I perceived him as trying to save me, no, I am trying to save myself. Was this a truer statement? Yes. I was trying to save myself from an illusion. This is how I saw him, more afraid of the illusion than using it as a means to wake up. He was my gift to me today to show me how small my thinking has been . How I have tried to avoid life not because I knew better, but because I was afraid of it. Wow, how much more of life is there for me to explore?

Holy spirit uses this illusion to wake me up and I had limited the illusion so I could get back faster, or so I thought, to a place I never really left. Yes, I am laughing out loud right now, what an illusion that is.

I too had spent many years thinking I was helping my friends when they didn't need help. Of course, like my friend this morning I was doing it from a place of love, wasn't I? Now I see more clearly that I was laying on them my own limited thinking because that is all I knew. I am not judging myself for that. I used to judge myself for being asleep to things in life but not anymore. I believe we are all doing the best we can in any given moment, otherwise we would be doing something different.

So no more serious journey. Today is a new day, filled with new thoughts and a lot more joy. Where do you want me today Holy spirit? Which part of this illusion are you going to have me engage today so that I can see another reflection of the self that still thinks it needs to be awakened from the dream?

What if I told you, you were already dead!

This was a statement Ramtha said to his audience about fifteen years ago. I was a part of that audience and when I heard this it rang so true for me. I joked about it for years later, telling others and my dog they were already dead.. Ramtha explained it in a different way to how I hear it now through A Course in Miracles, but it is all the same thing. What they are both saying is that we are not really here, we just think we are. We buy into the belief of reincarnation in order to keep the dream going, making birth and death real when it never really happened. As the course says we were never born and we never die. We are spirit, whole and innocent and the rest is an illusion.

How empowering is this? It doesn't take our power away, it magnifies it.

Last night I asked holy spirit for a deeper understanding of this and here is what unfolded in the wee hours of this morning.

As I mentioned, twenty years of my life were spent attending Ramthas school of enlightenment in Yelm Washington.I knew nothing of this world being an illusion at that time. Ramtha told the story of his own lifetime over and over and I accepted it as something that really happened, just like it seems my life really happened. Ramthas message besides saying we are God, was that all of us in his audience were in his army in the one lifetime that he had and that he awakened in that lifetime and ascended in front of us, telling us he would come back for us after we were done with our lives. He said the reason we weren't ready at that time 36,000 years ago was because we were still attached to the things in this reality and until we had done and had them all we wouldn't be ready to leave.

The course in miracles says this reality never existed in the first place. That we think we separated from God, but it never really occurred. That we never left God and are thinking we are here when we are not. If you want to know more, look up Ramtha on line, or take a look at the story of a Course in Miracles on YouTube and feel it out for yourself.

back to this morning.......What came to me as I was waking up is the realization that Ramtha doesn't really exist. He too is a figure in my movie who fifteen years ago was telling me what I didn't really understand back then. That I am already dead, meaning, in my new awareness that I never really lived so I never really died. I have been reiterating my movie over and over for thousands of years making it real. Wow, this was me,telling me,back then and not even understanding the magnification of that truth.

Then here was the metaphor again. I could clearly see the Me, the real Me standing in this beam of light watching my thoughts. Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle I watched my idea of Ramtha, being real then not, and the truth I had found in the Course in Miracles. The pieces were all floating around and I was the illusionary me in the middle of them trying to piece them together. Then suddenly realizing they are not meant to come together because they are all part of a story, my story, none of which is real.

The true me watching never moved, was solid and fully present, just observing. I was finally getting it!

This blog is doing the work I expected it to do but much faster and more powerful than I could have imagined. It's as if I set the intent, and the Holy Spirit is invited in, helping me to wake up once again to the truth. These pieces of the puzzle are my illusionary life finally breaking apart and the message is, I need do nothing!

Miracles

What is a miracle? I used to think it was something that is only given to a few. A gift from God and not available to the masses. I know now that is not the truth. Miracles occur every day and until a little while ago I didn't realize my experiences as miracles.

I became aware that every time I consciously changed my mind from one of fear into love, I experienced a miracle. In realizing that I had the choice to change anything, I also became aware that the one making the choice was separate from the one making the fearful dream. Therefore there must be more to me than I thought. Now that's a miracle, because it took away my fear of being controlled to something outside of me and left me in a place of power that had everything to do with Holy Spirit guidance. When love is here fear cannot exist. Since having this awareness , I have experienced miracles daily and afforded myself more opportunities for joy. I now see every day as an opportuntiy for miracles to occur.

An Endless Journey

Why am I calling this an endless journey? Because something deep inside of me knows that I am not this body and I am not really here. In this awareness there is no end because there never was a beginning.I believe I am living in a dream, a movie that I alone made up and directed according to my wishes and that everyone else, yes, including you who are reading this, are merely a figment of my imagination, the characters I chose,to be in the perfect place and time,in order to mirror back to me what I see in you,so that I can use that information to wake up to my true self. Meaning that whatever I see in another must be also in me, otherwise I couldn't see it.

I believe there is no past or future. That my seeming past is an illusion that never really happened, and my future is a story that has no merit other than that which I assign to it.

So, if my life here never really began it means I am not really here, so what do I have to talk about? And why a blog? I can honestly say it is purely a selfish act. I figure if I make a daily practice of getting my ideas down on paper it will keep me more aware of when I fall short of being in the truth. You see ,I must not fully believe what I know, otherwise I wouldn't think there was a here for me to write from.

So how do I know I am not making all of this up? I don't, in fact I have come to realize that I don't know anything.
And what is truth? I can't really explain it other than to say its a feeling, a knowingness, a something that lies within and has always been there. Everyone has it. It could be called intuition or a feeling that pulls me a certain way and cant be explained.

What I can say, is that when I follow that truth it always leads me to joy. Now I didn't say it always leads me to what I think I want. I have experienced that what I think I want is not always in my best interests.

I have learned there is no way out of this dream without asking for help from another source. This source has to be non changing and forever present. This source has to be pure love and forgiveness and free from judgement of any kind. I have learned to connect with this source as my Holy Spirit. In the past I have called it my higher self, my right mind, God, but now it is holy spirit.

I see myself as having two minds, a right mind and a wrong mind. My right mind knows all, forgives all and never guides me into fear. My wrong mind thinks it knows all, blames the world for my pain and suffering and knows nothing but fear.

Yesterday I meditated for an hour with some friends. Meditation is not something I do on a daily basis. In the past I have meditated for many hours daily and for many years, but this discipline changed over the years and I took to reading instead. So,during this meditation I decided to focus entirely on a lesson from a course in miracles which said, I am willing to sacrifice fear. An hour later the timer went off,and I continued my day feeling no effects from the meditation.

Last night I woke myself up repeating the same lesson over and over,I am willing to sacrifice fear. I fell asleep again and had a dream. My dream was full of chaos and frustration, a feeling I have at least once but probably more times on a daily basis. Then it became clear to me that there was something here I needed to look at more clearly. A metaphor appeared. It was massive bundles of thread intertwined millions of times and I was observing it as my life. The I that was doing the observing,was a light beam of pure joy,and the twine represented my movies, my stories, the life I thought was mine. I sensed the difference between the two seeming bodies. One heavy and laden with guilt shame and fear and the other shining, brilliant light. I saw my movie play out, the highs and lows, the attachments to what was going on in my day and the realization that even the happy things that I do are nothing compared to the absolute joy that I was experiencing in the present moment.

But how can I stay in that light? It seemed too much to comprehend. How can I experience a day in this seeming world without wanting it to be a certain way,and when it isn't to my liking how can I realize it's only a dream that I made up and I can change in any given moment?

As I asked these questions I realized with great fear that they could never be answered in a way I would have liked because I was asking to change one illusion into another illusion, one that would bring me more joy, and here is where I became fearful. I realized that nothing in this world can ever bring me lasting joy because it is forever changing. The real joy I was feeling as a light being never changes,and it has absolutely nothing to do with Wwwanything in this world, nothing.

So I was being asked to give it all up. Everything here that I am attached to,and I could see I was attached to everything. No attachment to where I am or what I am doing? how is that possible? I ask myself again now, am I willing to sacrifice fear?