Have you ever used the saying, You had to be there, when describing an event in your life? You know, the other person or people you are sharing with are looking at you with that face that tells you they are not getting it. If you are like me, you will feel a little dumb for even trying to share it in the first place, after all, it was you who had the feelings when it was happening, not them. I am not saying there are not people out there who are likened to great poets and can take me on a journey that encourages me to feel what they are expressing. I am not one of those people, so it wasn't surprising that when I read back to myself a blog that I wrote yesterday, I deleted it because it was void of the feelings that I was trying to write about.
Words just dont do it for me. They take something beautiful and make it mediocre. So how do I continue to share what is important in my life. How do I share my passion, my journey, my love for my brothers and sisters, all of you?
My heart is opening more every day. I am seeing more of the truth and feeling more compassion for all of us who are lost in this dream. There are moments when I see clearly through the lies I have told myself, the lies you have told yourself. I see the real self beyond the frightened human self that continues to fight for its life in a world that can offer nothing and ends in death. And what is this death that we all fear is coming some day? A Course in Miracles says it is nothing because it is not real. Death does not exist because God did not make it
There is a wonderful article on death as seen through the course. I highly recommend it for all who are experiencing death in their lives right now. It is the best explanation I have heard and it touched me deeply. It is written by Greg Mackie in the Circle of Atonement link on line.
I was guided to this information a few days ago by the Holy Spirit. A friend had requested help for her friend who wanted to understand grief as seen through A course in miracles. His friend was dying of cancer and her request brought up some fears for me. I went straight into my stories, replacing his dying friend with my loved ones,and within minutes I was no longer in peace, I was in fear. Fear is a sure sign to me that I have work to do and needed help from Holy Spirit, hence the guidance.
I love how Holy Spirit works. If it wasnt for my friends request, I would not have become aware of my own fears around death. Greg refers to a section in the course that says I accept no compromise where death plays a part. I decided to use this as a mantra yesterday while meditating with some friends. I felt myself going deeper and deeper into the thought and that is when I had one of those experiences that I was talking about when I began this section of my blog. There are no words to describe it, the truth, the knowingness that came forth. I was once again the observer and what I was seeing was without doubt the absolute truth. There is no such thing as death. We made it all up in our minds but it doesn't exist, therefore it is not real. I fell in and out of this awareness, sometimes staying there for what seemed to be a long time. When the buzzer went off to end the meditation, I didn't want to come out of it. I couldn't feel my body and I was in a state of bliss.
If only I could remember this truth every moment of every day. I believe that time will come and it's one of the thoughts that drives me to continue this journey of awakening. In the meantime, I will savor every opportuntiy that comes to me and not be so attached to how I share them but be thankful to have the opportuntiy to share them.
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